By Elizabeth O’BrienPosted July 31, 2018 05:20:31When my daughter was about three, my husband, an Army sergeant in Vietnam, went into the kitchen and put his hand over her mouth to prevent her from crying.
I couldn’t believe my eyes, he said.
When she did, I didn’t understand.
My daughter, who was about one at the time, had been crying for two hours and had gone to the bathroom.
I knew then that something had to be done.
I asked the husband if he wanted to help me.
We had never been married before.
He said no.
I asked if he was going to do something, and he said, “I don’t want to do anything.”
I said, I don’t have anything, and I wanted to do it.
I was so angry, I was crying so hard, that I felt like I was going mad.
Then, in the next minute or so, I started crying.
That’s when I heard her cry, I said.
I think the moment was so clear in my mind that I thought, this is my girl.
It was so hard for me to say, but I knew she had cried.
Then I said to her, I’m sorry, I know you’re not sorry, but you have to come outside.
She said, no, please, I love you, I am here with you.
I told her I love her, that she was a special girl.
And then she started to cry again.
My husband said he didn’t want anything to do with it.
He told me to get dressed.
We got dressed and we went outside.
My husband was crying again and again.
I thought that maybe it was because of the drugs I was taking.
I took a bath and went back inside.
I told my husband to stay away from her.
He wouldn’t listen to me.
I said I was sorry, and that he was a coward.
I didn, too, and told him to go and kill himself.
He stayed with me for two weeks.
He was so upset.
He thought that he had made a horrible mistake.
And he did kill himself in the bathroom the next day.
My children were there and they were horrified.
I didn’t think I could be that hard on my daughter.
I had told my wife to go out and get my son’s football, and then she was gone for two days.
And it was my fault.
I’m a therapist now, and the lesson has come out: I am so sorry for making him do it, but what did I expect?
I’m not sorry that I did it.
The biggest lesson I learned is to not expect anything, because everything that happens in the world is a consequence of my choices, and my decisions are not a consequence.